Social Security declared me dead on a Tuesday

—I've come for my pension: it hasn't arrived. —Name? —Remedios Ferrer Soto. Retired seamstress: forty-one years sewing wedding dresses. —Mrs Ferrer… according to the system, you passed away on Tuesday the 3rd. —On Tuesday the 3rd I was at the hairdresser's. —Right, but the system… —And who are you? —Borja Lema. I've been processing pensions at this office since 2019. —Then process my resurrection. —I need a proof-of-life certificate, the paper that certifies you are still alive. —Look at me: I breathe and I complain. Give me the paper and I'll sign it. —I can't: the system won't issue certificates in the name of the deceased. —The paper saying I'm alive is denied to me… because I'm dead? —Exactly. You can appeal online, with your digital certificate. —And my digital certificate? —It expired with you, on Tuesday the 3rd. —What more does the State ask of a living woman? —Wait: something's coming up. Thursday the 5th, a parking ticket on Carmen Street. Seven euros fifty. —My neighbour moved the car. —Don't say that out loud: as far as the city council knows, you parked it. And the deceased don't park badly. —A parking ticket counts as proof of life? —It's the only official paper that says you're alive. Pay it and I'll reactivate your pension today. —Forty-one years of contributions, and a parking meter resurrects me. —Welcome back, Mrs Ferrer.